Over the next few months, the band members debated many potential names.  For example, Ron suggested "Local Reality", "Cave Dogs", and "Dead Possums".  Lewis proposed "Ear Seeker" and "Scortch One".  Chuck submitted "Intense Scrutiny" and "Logistical Nightmare".

This is what little we do know.  Lewis claims to have a long-time friend named Bob.  Bob has been invited to every Lurkers' event, but has never showed.  A few months ago, Ron announced to Lewis, "I don't believe there is a Bob.  I think you made him up."

Case in point.  Chuck received an e-mail regarding our May 8th Mr. Gee's gig from someone alleging to be Bob.  The e-mail read, "I'll try to make it", but Bob did not attend.  A month later, Lewis said that Bob left a message on his answering machine, stating that he did not attend due to a conflict with his son's school play.

When we announced our Ron's Crossroads show on Tuesday June 29th, Chuck received a reply e-mail from a woman claiming to be Bob's wife.  The message stated that Bob was (conveniently) in England at the time.  Chuck sent an e-mail to Ron saying, "Ron, the mythical Bob still eludes us, but the woman posing as his wife is still keeping up the sham.  Apparently the kid who was hired to play ‘Bob's son’ wasn't available for next Tuesday."

Ron placed a call to the U.S. Customs Service in an attempt to ascertain the truth, but the United States Government would neither confirm nor deny the existence of Bob, or if he was in fact out the country.  They said only that if he did exist, he did not pose a threat to national security.

Although it was rumored that Bob was back on the continent during our July 28th return engagement at Ron's Crossroads, he was a no-show yet again.  Lewis says he inspected his property for storm damage the next day and found a message burned into his backyard grass.  The mysterious burn marks allegedly stated that Bob had been unable to attend due to his abduction by aliens.

Ron placed a call to the air traffic control center at the Cleveland Hopkins airport, trying to determine if there were any unusual radar contacts that evening.  An airport spokesman said he had no knowledge of any strange aircraft in Northeastern Ohio airspace on the night of July 28th, but suggested that Ron call NASA's Lewis (hmmm) Research Center.  Ron's calls to this Cleveland NASA facility were not returned.

This much we do know:

1.) Lewis received an e-mail from someone claiming to be Bob that read, "We'll try to make the gig.  Unfortunately, I can't promise."

2.) Greg Shay, our engineer/producer, spoke to the alleged wife of "Mythical" Bob about driving him to the gig.  Phone company records confirm that Greg placed a call to her address on the night in question.

But others are not so sure.  Our first story has sparked interest worldwide, and a group of researchers have banded together to investigate the Bob phenomenon.  Because the evidence is so fragmentary, they have adopted the acronym C.R.U.M.B.--Center for Research to Uncover "Mythical" Bob.  If you want to report a sighting of "Mythical" Bob, call the C.R.U.M.B. hotline at 1-800-MYTHBOB (1-800-698-4262).

10. I had stuff to do.

9. I fell asleep.

8. Oh, the LURKERS?!!? I've been driving around looking for the Learchers!

7. "Mythical" Bob gave me bad directions.

6. You usually bring natural disasters, like floods and blizzards, with you!

5. My parents like you guys, therefore I can't!

4. That weekend I had out-of-town visitors who only like country music.

3. My dog reformatted my hard drive.

2. Your drummer scares me.

1. I was hanging with "Mythical" Bob.

During the Lurkers' set, there were further indications that the mysterious man in the green parka was actually "Mythical" Bob.  Chuck Matusz (Lurker guitarist) subtly altered Bloodletting's lyrics to include a reference to "Mythical" Bob.  Furthermore, at one point, Lewis pointed into the crowd and said, "Look!  There's 'Mythical' Bob!  Oh no, that's an empty chair.  They look the same to an untrained observer."  However with my C.R.U.M.B. training, I was not about to fall for such an obvious ruse.

After The Lurkers' killer show, the band and several fans moved to the bar area.  During their conversation, the man in the green parka responded to the name "Bob". By the end of the evening, Chuck seemed certain that man in the green parka was Bob.  However, Ron Baron (Lurker drummer) was unconvinced, and went so far as to accuse Lewis of hiring an actor to portray "Mythical" Bob.  Thus far, our inquiries with the Screen Actors Guild have not corroborated Ron's suspicions.

Based on the available evidence, I conclude that Bob exists.

Here is the official "press release" from Chuck:

In other news, we've changed our band name.  We're no longer known as
"The Lurkers", as we were being confused with a British band with the
same name (who had been around longer than us).  So, we are now known
simply as "LurkRock". The URL for our website has not changed.